Finding Love is like Finding Gloves

The average person meets close to 10,000 people in a lifetime. The same average person, falls in love 3 times in his or her life. Congratulations to those who have fallen in love just once, and lived happily ever after, and congratulations to those who have finally found the one after falling in love a couple times, and will now live happily ever after.

This one is for the below average and above average ones.

I have fallen in love many a times, or at least I think I did. Not sure. I do consider myself above average at least.

I’d come to the conclusion a decade back, that life could be very long, and I will probably have many more days, and weeks, and years to live. That always led me to move on from one person to another in search for that one, whom I will decide to stay the rest of my life with.

At the same time, I also had in the back of my mind that maybe the earth can fucking explode tomorrow, and I didn’t want to die alone, so I always wanted someone along. I didn’t want to be that guy standing alone while a meteor hit the earth, and everyone around was hugging someone, saying their final goodbyes, and telling them how much they loved them, or telling them how awful they had been and actually been fucking their friend all this while.

When I broke up with my ex girlfriend, I was so desperate to have that void filled that I turned to dating apps like Tinder and Bumble to find someone whom I can die with if the earth exploded tomorrow. I started swiping left and right to find the one, and to be honest, I didn’t care if they didn’t drink or smoked, or were looking for a relationship, or marriage or something casual. For me, it was option D — All of the above.

So, my search for that someone ended pretty soon actually, as I fell in love for the 3rd time on my first date. I looked at her. She looked at me, and hogayi mushkil.

This is when this analogy struck me that finding a partner should be like finding gloves. Your fingers should fit in the gloves in the same manner the gloves fit your fingers. Active voice, passive voice, but the two are very different things.

If you’re buying gloves, you would want the gloves to be of the best of quality but also fitting your budget. If you are only willing to spend only a 100 bucks on gloves and want them to keep your fingers warm in the harshest of winters, and expect them to do just that, then do not be mad at those gloves when they don’t, or when they show the first signs of wear and tear after you use them for the very first time.

If you are looking for the right set of gloves, and want them to last a couple of winters at least, but you’re so desperate and needy that you buy the first ones that you see, and then you complain of them not doing their job right, or show the first signs of wear and tear after you use them for the very first time, you should know where, and with whom the problem lies.

If you’re looking for gloves after wasting the entire autumn wanking off, and suddenly its fucking cold, and you need gloves to keep your hands warm, so you can wank, of course you will be desperate, and needy. On top of that, if you only have a 100 bucks to spend, then (if there’s a God) bless you.

Dating sites are no less. Be it Tiner, Bumble, Hinge, Happn, or even fucking jeevan saathi. If you’re on any of these, you’ve probably bought the wrong glove at each of the last occasion from the supermarket, or a winter wear shop, and have now turned to going online, to see if you can the best glove online.

That’s the worst thing that you can do to yourself, and to the glove, and the best thing you can do to all ecommerce or dating apps, cuz Love is probably the easiest thing to sell online, just like a glove. Because when it doesn’t work, and it probably won’t, you will turn and blame everyone but yourself for the time you ended up wasting.

I used to do the same. I didn’t want to go to 10 shops to find a glove. Who the fuck has time to do that? So what did I do instead? I went to Amazon, saw a couple photos, read a couple reviews, and swipe right. Paid to buy gloves. Of course, when they arrived, they were crap. The fabric was crap. The money that I paid was way too much for those, and I returned them with a simple press of a button on my smartphone. The Amazon delivery guy arrived, checked the glove, and left. Easy Peasy. Problem being, I did not have gloves, so my search continued.

You do the same when you go online to find love. You do check a couple photos, but there are no reviews for you to read.

Before I proceed, to any entrepreneurs listening out there, please, think about it. There should be a database for all ex boyfriends and ex girlfriends for others to see and decide, along with a star rating. In this day and age, we don’t buy a pizza without knowing the rating of the place, so how can anyone decide their life partner without the same. I’m all in for knowing the person and all, but a head start will be great, right?

So yea, went online to find love. Found a couple. Swiped right on many of them. Someone who was also looking for love online, found me online, and we met. I fell in love again, and we got along. Of course, this was online stuff, so this one had an expiration date. Of course, I couldn’t return this one. Tinder doesn’t have a return policy, so I had to live with it for a while, until I had to tell her straight what was happening. I told her the glove analogy, and the rest is history!

Now I head to the offline store to find gloves, and I head outside and talk to girls to find that one. Finding the one that fits you like a glove is difficult, and time consuming, but when it does (and I have heard it does), I hope it will be all worth it.

P.S — Of course, if you have found the right set of gloves and right partner online, kudos to you, and well done. :)